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Das Toterbaumfest Dead Tree Festival

Posted by RenB on December 27, 2008 – 12:28 pm

So, two horridays gone by… Made a roast to get through them. One of my good ones I hadn’t done in a long while….

You braise a piece of beef on all sides. Fill the bottom of a big casserole with thick slices of onion and two crushed garlic cloves. Set the roast on the onions. Add lots of carrot pieces and quartered potatoes sall around it. Add two small bay leaves, 12 peppercorns, 12 whole allspice, 2 cloves, and two to three tablespoons of grated horseradish. Add 1/4 l white rum or red wine. Rum is better. Cover and place in a slow oven, about 180 degrees C for two hours, then about 50 minutes at 150 degrees C. The carrots should be soft with a bit of bite to them by then, and the roast nice and tender. Let the roast rest for about 10 minutes to relax, slice, and sprinkle the meat with freshly chopped dill and serve with the carrots and potatoes. Salt to taste. It is an excellent recipe, and very old. And very good. You might want to do that for Sylvester (New Year’s Eve) or New Year’s.

And yes, Lazarus is still driving me crazy….


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  1. 1. Terrible Said:

    About time we had a recipe! Andf that sounds dang ggod! I’m going to try it next week I think. Right now I gotta go find a snack because reading that made me hungry. ;-)

  2. 2. RenB Said:

    It really is good, Terrible…. Hope you had something tasty in the larder… (smile) Over 25 years ago someone gave me a Yankee Magazine cookbook. That recipe however was over two hundred years old, and came from a native American woman who was running a half-way inn in Maine, and taught a pale-face how to use local spices. It hardly changed over the centuries.

    The rest of the entry is too long, about the programming of the tee-vee over the horridays. You might get a smile over my take on Airport 1975 and seeing it after thirty years… The rest is at my place…

    And use rum. It sounds weird, which is why I tried it, but it is wonderful…. And no, I didn’t drink any while it was cooking…

  3. 3. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    I’m gonna defer to you New Englanders on the cooking roast with bay leaves, allspice and cloves. If we were doing the Southern recipe, it would start with, “Well, first, you make a roux…, the “holy trinity” (garlic, onion & either bell-pepper or some similar seasoning vegetable like chives, shallots, mushrooms, etc.), browning the outside of the roast before roasting it in the oven, etc.

    Maybe we'll get CC in on it and do "dueling roasts"! And you have GOT to have RICE AND GRAVY with ANY roast, or you ain't even TRYING, son! Hell, the entire Gulf South was BUILT on rice and gravy! Talk about your good Depression tactics: fill up on rice & gravy, and you won't notice how small the roast has to be this year. With as many fresh/homegrown veggies as humanly possible, of course. Can't be ALL starch, though grains are definitely more healthy than Irish potatoes. I like the brown rice, but nobody else in the clan/klan/"family" ever came around on that one. Wusses.

    OOH! And my recipe for a venison roast will make you wanna slap yer grammaw! Talk about your economical menu options! Granted, the license and equipment needed aren't cheap, and I sure as hell have never hunted anything bigger than snakes or armadillos or rats (yup, I’m a wussy-assed omnivore, sue me), but venison is one of the PUREST forms of protein on the PLANET. WAY the hell better than TOFU!!! No hormones (unless you kill a buck in rut with the big neck), no artificial anything, no overloads of antibiotics or other genetic modification — can y’all tell that I haven’t had a good venison roast in YEARS!?!??!

    At an rate, in case anybody DOES take a buck or doe this season, I’ve got THE quintessential recipe for a melt-in-your-mouth venison roast and the PERFECT side dishes for a winter feast.

  4. 4. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    BTW, no offense, honey, but um… horseradish?!?!?!

    Um.

    I know that there are foods for which horseradish is appropriate, including, according to one yankee I dated, an Arby’s “roast beef” sandwich, and that I’ve used horseradish in garnish/condiment adventures (which, I can’t recall at the moment), but on a GOOD SLAB OF PRIME BEEF?!?!?!?!

    Tsk.

    Son, I gotta send you another bottle of Zatarain’s cayenne pepper and some home-mixed Louisiana “season salt.” When I can swing the postage to Austria, we’ll get to work on that. As you were.

    No disrespect to your recipe or your dish or your enjoyment thereof, I’m just trying to wrap my head around those flavor combinations.

  5. 5. RenB Said:

    Annti, I know it sounds weird, and all, which is why I tried it in the first place… out of curiosity. But the truth is, it all blends perfectly, and have made it often since. And it isn’t my strange taste. Have ofen served it to guests, and they all loved it.

    And btw, I still have half a jar of your cayenne pepper. I use it sparingly, you see….

  6. 6. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Pfft.

  7. 7. Terrible Said:

    I quite like horseradish myself. I don’t think it takes away from a good cut of meat any more then say garlic or something. I quite like garlic too. Heck I like almost anything that’s eatable.

  8. 8. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Like I said, I do remember having horseradish in SOMETHING, at some point, and it worked rather well. I just don’t want to be GAGGED with it, or allspice, or cloves, or peppercorns or any other spice. I’d rather taste THE MEAT.

    Go ahead, make whatever phallic puns you wish, it doesn’t matter, I’m RETIRED.

  9. 9. RenB Said:

    Terrible,if you really decide to try it, with horseradish, I meant the root, not the stuff out of the jar. The root you peel and grate. If you use the stuff out of the jar, just one Tablespoon, ok? And if the juice goes down, add water, not more rum.

    and, ANNNNTI…. (using my ‘dangerous’ voice here….) You should have figured out by now that my philosophy of cooking and especially regarding spices is: ‘They are supposed to compliment the food, not smother it.

    Normally, I shy away from anything that asks for more than two or three. But this one did it. I wouldn’t go so far as to make an ASS of myself by recommending something awful, you know??? It works…

  10. 10. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Yeah, you have a “dangerous” voice.

    And I’m the Virgin Mary.

  11. 11. RenB Said:

    You haven’t HEARD my ‘dangerous’ voice, dear… It goes down three octaves, and comes through clenched teeth.

    So TELL me, Mary… did you give Baby Jeebus up for adoption, to MORMONS?

    Happy New Year, darlin’ Love you.

  12. 12. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Again, I find myself bereft of lexicon for further illumination, save for the ubiquitous “Pfft.”

    Also, dearie, neither have you ever heard my “dangerous voice,” at least not when aimed at you. Be very, very grateful. Sure, I’m the Trollinator, I terminate total strangers from the republicunt side of the fence without breaking a sweat, generally going back to their ancestors’ origins at the bottom of the primordial soup. Not as much as I used to, because really, who wants to be a one-trick pony? But, were any of my near & dear, my truly-beloved friends, to stick a knife or fork in my back, ohhhhhhh, honey, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

    Kinda like that episode of “Frasier” (obnoxious republicunt hater of all things cultured/civilized/educational; further enforcing the caste/class-warfare bullshit system and opening the way for a moronic puppet-dog preznit by fooling teh proles into believing that billionaire republicunts like Dumbya & Karl Rove give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut about THE WORKING CLASS) in which Frasier’s psychotic/sociopathic agent, BeBe (ironic that they named her after the actress who PERFECTED the character of “Lilith,” non? Or perhaps not.) climbs out onto the ledge on the 14th story, allegedly because she is insane/heart-sore/bereft of any desire to live over Frasier’s hit-it-and-quit-it one-night stand. She attracts multiple network-news helicopters, local media out the ass, you name it, and then manipulates Frasier into “saving” her and dragging her back into the GM’s office window from the ledge. Flashbulbs, media frenzy, oh, she’s just pale and trembling with the reception of his inimitable “care” and “concern” and “brilliant psychiatric skills.”

    And as the hordes of media/radio station fawning admirers/police/etc. filter out of the GM’s office, after she’s enlightened Frasier as to how her manipulations resulted in his desired pay raise/better contract, BeBe only pauses long enough to cast one sloe-eyed/truly eeeeevilllll glance back Frasier’s way to say, “Aren’t you glad that I’m on YOUR side?”

    Never forget that.

  13. 13. RenB Said:

    Ok, I give up, uncle! Uncle! You are dangerous and skeery….

    Did I tell you I love you this year? Bet not…. But I do.

  14. 14. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Both are already assumed, dear, but I love you too, even if you drive me absolutely fucking batshit sometimes.

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