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Stolen directly from Democommie…

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on January 28, 2009 – 11:57 pm

via a comment @ Jesus’ General, one small piece of joy in the midst of the freeze-yer-tits-off-in-hell world where I live. Major helmet tips to JG & Pam’s House Blend on the info, as well. If y’all have firewood, send it up to Democommie, he’s freezin’ his ass off, WAY the hell worse.

Ted Haggard, caught with dick-in-boy again (as opposed to teh Clenis wif de dick-in-zipper/dick-in-intern syndrome). Yeah, how’s that Jeebus-Made-Me-Hetero shit workin’ for ya NOW, Ted???

I’d still wager that Ted & his ol’ buddy/sister-church bro Larry Stockstill (dig the automatically-generated ad link that Google paired with a search on Larry… heh heh heh… “Touch USA”… And then look at the Jan. 11th blog post about “SAVING MARRIAGES”… yeahhhh, Larry, YOU da MAN! Nary a word about how to save your marriage from gay prostitutes, though…) have a whooooole lotta gay bondage porn that they share, when they do the congregation-swap every summer… And that they’ve got a stack of polaroids almost as tall as those NON-XIANS, TURN AROUND NOW AND LEAVE THIS H’YEAR BIBUL-BANGIN’ ENCLAVE!!!” 70-foot-tall I-beam crosses right the fuck next to the I-10 between Baton Redneck Republicunt Rouge & Gonzales.

And yes, I have a “When/if I ever hit the Powerball” plan for buying the mass acreage that Larry owns out from under him, and using the wasted steel of that bigotry monument to BUILD A FUCKING HOMELESS SHELTER, instead of letting Larry continue to pretend that his el penito is that tall. Have loathed that lisping weirdo for many, many moons, esp. the 20 minutes he wastes of billable air time on the local CBS/GOP affiliate EVERY FUCKING MORNING, and knowing that he’s “tight” with Haggard just confirms everything that I’ve ever suspected about that jackass. This link is funny, ’cause the most batshit-crazy bibul-bangers are calling Larry out on his multi-million-dollar chain-store megachurch and his extravagant tastes/not-saying-outright-that-all-non-xians-should-DIE, HERETIC, DIE!!! (Don’t stay at that one too long, it might infect yer corneas.)

When I’m not on the rag, I’ll tell y’all about the time that I did a face-painting gig at Bethany‘s original “campus” in Baker, the lying, thieving, ostentatious bougie cunts. I don’t put that get-up on for just anything, bitches, and raising money for a HIGHLY-PROFITABLE CORPORATION does NOT even REMOTELY count as “charity work.”

And thus concludes today’s “Why in the FUCK won’t Medicare/Medicaid let me ditch this faulty fucking uterus already?!?!?!?!? (the pro-breeding cult-mentality FUCKS!) sermon. Bitchin’ updates @ JG, btw.

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  1. 1. democommie Said:


    I love having shit like this stolen from me. I was getting frantic with worry that nobody else would notice Parson Haggards reGAYlapse.

    I would like to know just how much money this is costing Teddy’s church and whether it’s on the parish books.

  2. 2. mirele Said:

    democommie: that’s a real good question.

    Apparently New Life Church was supposed to pay out $180K to the young man. But according to the young man, NLC stopped paying. So, basically, NLC is in breach of the contract it had with the young man and he was free to speak. (Oops.)

    Brady Boyd, the pastor of NLC, claims that the money came from an insurance settlement. This is interesting. Did NLC not get $180K from the insurance company, and that’s why they felt they could stiff the young man? Or is NLC holding on to the money and basically embezzling from the insurance company.

    Inquiring minds do want to know.

  3. 3. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    FUCK BLOGGER SIDEWAYS WITH A FUCKING CHAINSAW, this is my FOURTH attempt to post a comment on MY OWN FUCKING POST on my OWN FUCKING BLOG, and these cocksuckers at Google must be MEMBERS OF THE COLORADO “christian” MAFIA, from the way that it’s acting tonight!!!!!!!

    One more motherfucking try:

    That's why I want DemoCommie to keep looking this shit up, and that's why I saved the comment & link until I could blog it. I'm glad that you found the info on the "insurance settlement," Mirele, (does Allstate even WRITE for “male prostitute extortion” policies, and does that carry a double-indemnity rider?!?!?!) but I what I wanna know is, and I think that Demo may be leaning that way, beyond the actual hooker/molestee payouts, is how much this is costing that church (and, by relation, the Bethany corporate entity, their sister-church) in LOST PARISHIONERS, TITHES AND CONTRIBUTIONS???

    An unrepentant whoremonger, and a CLOSET-CASE HOMO-BOY, having claimed to be CURED of his homosexuality at that, has GOT to have a SERIOUS impact upon the fiscal benefits of tax-free fundraising. They’ve got to be HEMORRHAGING cash after all of this shit, or at least, I hope to hell that they are! And when you factor-in the PAYOFFS, wellllll, that new preacher ain’t lookin’ quite so kosher after all, now is he? If the board and the deacons* KNEW about the payouts, then they were all CONSPIRING to commit fiscal fraud and conspiring/participating in blackmail/extortion, as well as tampering with legal evidence in a potential criminal case.

    Let’s hope that somebody in Colorado ain’t so bibul-whipped/cult-brainwashed, so that they’re capable of launching a genuine legal probe (and not in any way that Haggard would enjoy!) into the fiscal, evidenciary, and other misbehavings of Haggard, the new boy, AND the board in toto. Nothing more fun that putting crooked panhandling tent-preachers in jail… Why in the fuck Tammy Faye never paid for HER crimes, I still wanna fuckin’ know… Bitch got off EASY with JUST cancer, after she indulged her every whim/coveting/fixation upon the life savings of elderly investors who THOUGHT that they were providing for their “golden years,” only to see it flushed down a fucking THEME PARK’S water ride, and into the air-conditioned DOG HOUSES for those hillbilly-Caligula motherfuckers.

    Keep up the good work, y’all, and get back to me if y’all find any more info about the cash flow!

    BTW, don’t y’all find this a FASCINATING follow-up to the whole era of gubmint-funded BRIBERY to teh cults? “Faith-Based Initiatives”: Fuck social programs out of existence and hand the dough over to Crusade-minded motherfuckers who generally operated under the “CONVERT OR STARVE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!” mindset. Yeahhhhh, that’s an “honor system” that’ll work out well for EVERYBODY, won’t it?

    I want a fucking AUDIT of that faith-based initiative bullshit, to see how much of your tax money PAID FOR HAGGARD’S HOOKERS. And every other power-mad pervert with his own cult and flock of sheepul… I’m lookin’ at YOU, Swaggart! (and yes, that motherfucker’s still on TV and still in bidness, repossession of Swag-Land notwithstanding)

    *(or whatever they call their enforcers in the non-denominational/charismatic/pentecostal industry; back in ‘teh day’, MY speaking-in-tongues church didn’t even HAVE an advisory board, so that’s why it was so easy for teh preacher to get so damned rich, so damned fast, in the middle of Louisiana’s worst republicunt-caused recession EVER, and then to go on to build a giant diaphragm-shaped Jeebus Dome during the Clinton years… If it’d been more than one story, it’d have been one really-wide-diameter phallic-substitute, but it was, like so many other things in that hick-ass town, TOO SHORT to truly BE a dick. Private joke there, but it’s still funny.)

    Here’s hoping that they’ll at LEAST be able to read my fucking HTML code THIS time around, the limp-dick globe-eating motherfuckers… Y’all are making HALO-SCAN LOOK GOOD.

  4. 4. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Nope, they cocked-up the entire fucking comment.


    I bet that if I had Google Advertising spots on this motherfucker, that EVERY comment and EVERY post would come out PERFECTLY.

    How much y'all wanna bet?

  5. 5. Terrible Said:

    Well Annti got to it first, wondering about the insurance company offering “male prostitute extortion” policies. I wonder how much they charge NLC for that a month. I wonder if the general membership agrees with the neec of having that policy? Seems like it’d be a hell of a lot cheaper to just stop being nasty hateful bigots. But that’s just me I guess.

  6. 6. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Yeah, you would think, wouldn’tcha?

    In the BWUAAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAA!!!!!!! department:

    This morning’s Stockstill/Bethany moment, his daily sermon (might only be four or five minutes, but it FEEEELS like twenty, yet another to never awaken before noon…), HE BARELY MENTIONED TEH JEEBUS. He was talking ALL THE FUCK ABOUT, I shit y’all not, INSURANCE POLICIES.


    How everybody needs to “protect” and “manage” themselves/their lives right now, get your health insurance, get your car insurance, get your LIFE INSURANCE, he personally prefers TERM LIFE… Gee, ya think that he’s having to help pay-off the deductible for Ted’s church? FREE PLUGS FOR WHOMEVER INSURES COCKSUCKING-PASTOR INCIDENTS!!!!!!

    Heh heh heh heh heh heh…

  7. 7. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    yet another REASON to never awaken before noon… Sleep deprivation is NOT Annti’s friend, in case y’all hadn’t noticed already.

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