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Say Goodbye to Texas

Posted by Realist on March 29, 2009 – 7:16 pm

Fran, a friend of our very own Tammy, got an earful from one of my fellow Texans. Apparently, Texas! Is going! To secede! So take that, Obama lovers!


Why are the dumbest in this state allowed to speak? It only embarrasses those of us who actually use the gray matter between our ears.

Anyways, swing on over and read it. Fran smacks the stupidity down with a sledge hammer, not even pretending to show mercy. It’s quite a beautiful thing to witness.

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  1. 1. mirele Said:

    It’s dreck like that letter and the recent decision that the Texas State Board of Edumacation is gonna let the teachers teach “all” the science theories that makes me want to ship my BA back to the University of Texas at Austin and my JD back to the University of Houston. Jeebus. The stupidity, it burns.

  2. 2. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    I fucking love Fran, but her blog wouldn’t let me post this, prolly an HTML issue:

    Amen to everything that CCMcGoon said, but I’d like to correct a few things that the mow-rahns missed:

    RAYTHEON is a “small company”?!?!??!? Fuckin’ mowrahns. Right, and Blackwater is a young start-up with a bright future.

    I fuckin’ adore you, Fran, you kicketh much ass. But I have to add a few more-local comments/corrections.

    You forgot one teeeeeny little item in regards to oil refineries: THE GINORMOUS PARALLEL INDUSTRIES OF PETROCHEMICALS, CHEMICAL ENGINEERING, AND PLASTICS MANUFACTURING, which is about FORTY PERCENT of Louisiana’s economy and about 15% of our real estate. The “Texan” idiots CLAIM the “plastics industry”, but they are WRRRONNNNNNGGGG. (Not counting all of the peoiple that DOW Chemical just laid the fuck off, 1,500 and counting…). Same thing about paper mills, we're the most-fertile end of "The Pine Belt,: and clear-cut more "plantation trees" in a day than Texas has ever SEEN. We've lost a couple of paper mills to French-Canadian douchebags, but we're still up there.

    The pollution BLOWS, the cancer, sarcoidosis & lupus are no fun, but WE CAN LIVE WAY THE FUCK EASIER WITHOUT TEXAS THAN THEY CAN WITHOUT LOUISIANA. As bad as they are for the Gulf marine life, those LNG ports & pipelines ain't going away. WAY more natural gas than Texas will EVER sell. Plus, most of Texas STILL CAN’T COOK ANY BETTER THAN ARKANSAS OR ALABAMA, so what the fuck are y’all gonna do for REALLY spicy food?!?!?! I love me some Tex-Mex, but MINE is more perfectly-seasoned than the “hottest” restaurant fare in Amarillo or Austin.
    No offense to CC, Jobsanger, the Panhandle Truth Squad, or any of the other GOOD Texans who vote like SANE PEOPLE, or the food joints y’all like, but come ON. I’ve had the Amarillo version of “HOT” Tex-Mex, and didn’t even break a sweat. Nyeh.

    I do love Austin, so we’d have keep it if the secession somehow went through. We'll also take the Houston & Dallas metros, but y'all HAVE to keep the SUBURBS.

    Fran, the bloated Velveeta-eating mow-rahns who made up this shit fwd should note the multi-billion-dollar industry of “cancer treatment” and “cancer research” out of LSU & Tulane, getting towards putting SMU & MD Anderson in the SHADE. Not fond of the LSU “medical system” myself, they don’t do SHIT for the poor peolpe of this state, and they’re the reason that THERE’LL NEVER BE ANOTHER CHARITY HOSPITAL, but the idiots who wrote this secession horseshit just show how IGNORANT that they are about what the medical industry really is. Louisiana causes every bit as much cancer as Texas does, if not more, so we’ve got the medical parasites to make fortunes off of it.
    But then, if they ever “cured’ cancer, they’d be outta bidness, wouldn’t they? Kinda like blaming all illnesses & cancers (especially autoimmune disorders, which come from THE ENVIRONMENT) on SMOKERS, instead of EXXON-MOBIL, DOW CHEMICAL, MARATHON & BRITISH PETROLEUM. Scumbags.

    Oh, and not to endorse Aggies or any other Texas “university,” but Dumbya hadda go to Yale ‘CAUSE HE COULDN’T GET IN ANYWHERE ELSE. There’s a reason they call ’em “LEGACIES.”

    And a big A(wo)MEN about the Kentucky National Guard, those kids were WONDERFUL during Gustav. And they never once bitched about our humidity or skeeters.

    But re: hydroponic strawberries? Honey, please. If you've never had Ponchatoula, LA strawberries, you don't know strawberries. That's how strawberries are SUPPOSED to smell, taste and eat. Just too bad that they replaced all of the locals' picking jobs with "guest workers." Oh, yeah, "RIGHT TO WORK" did WONDERS for the Louisiana & Texas job forces, didn't it? Made it so that we could all be easily REPLACED with NAFTA's LEGAL SLAVERY.

    And that "three of the largest ports" thing? Um. Surely they’ve heard of the Port of New Orleans, yes? Even the most ignorant bigots in this country were affected by Katrina BECAUSE HALF OF THE OIL that's imported into this country comes through here, plus at least a THIRD of the manufactured goods & raw foods that come here from elsewhere. Get in line, bitches. NOLA is the first international port from the Atlantic, Pacific, Indian AND Asian Oceans, and it will always be THE MOUTH OF THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER. Pfft. Racist suburban motherfuckers in Katy, Texas don’t like “criminals” from New Orleans? That’s okay, darlin’, WE DON’T NEED TO LET Y’ALL GET SHIT.

    But, I gotta say, the snottiness about rusting/dissembled vehicles up on cinderblocks in people’s front yards was misguided, as that front-yard junkyard thang is pretty fucking UNIVERSAL in America, especially as our economy is tanking, so that one doesn’t wash. People hang onto those cars because SOMEDAY, they wanna be able to FIX and USE them again.

    And re: Washington’s quote? “. . . the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. . .”

    Beloved Fran, not to nit-pick, but how come you didn’t bother to mention the freedom to NOT worship? Atheists, at least according to the Constitution (if not the bigoted mercenaries of both cath-o-lick and fanatical-pentecostal varieties, who will illegally deprive you of employment, healthcare, and housing FOR BEING AN ATHEIST) HAVE RIGHTS, TOO. Wish that more of the reactionary cult-bigots in this country HAD READ THE CONSTITUTION and COULD UNDERSTAND THE LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY.

    What’s truly sad is that people in Texas, who KNEW that Dumbya’s “Leave All Public School Children Behind” bigotry DIDN’T FUCKING WORK FOR ANYBODY BUT PRIVATE/PAROCHIAL SCHOOLS, let that fucktard loose upon the entire country to destroy our WHOLE educational system. The next couple of generations will be people EVERY BIT AS “CREATION-SCIENCE” IGNORANT as the brain-donor who “wrote” this idiotic crap.

  3. 3. CC McGoon Said:

    I fucking love Fran, but her blog wouldn’t let me post this, prolly an HTML issue:

    She moderates her comments, so it’ll probably show up in a bit. Mine went into moderation as well, but it is up there now.


    We’ll have to agree to disagree here because I love Texas food with a passion. I’m lucky enough to know and benefit from many fine Texas cooks, and I wouldn’t trade their plates for any other.

    What’s truly sad is that people in Texas…let that fucktard loose upon the entire country to destroy our WHOLE educational system.

    I DID try to warn people, but we all know how well that turned out. I guess that was my Cassandra moment.

  4. 4. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Honey, my whole LIFE is a Cassandra moment, so I feel ya.

    And it was the HTML code that kept the post from appearing, ’cause I’ve talked to Fran about it. It’ll get there someday, no sweat. Besides, I got it off of my chest here, so hopefully, after people go read her stuff, if she can’t get my comment up, they’ll come back here and read it. Yes, I’m that egotistical.

    CC, If I ever get to do road trips again, I’m taking you to the places where I ate in Amarillo, and we’ll finish this discussion once and for all. So nyeh. And then you can show me the GOOD places to eat there, hopefully.


  5. 5. Terrible Said:

    What?… is the aging wimpy little closet case chuckie chicken norris going to guard their southern border while the handful of idiots who think he’s relevent hold off the full might of the US military to their north? hahahahahahaha, ya gotta admire Texas humor even if the level of it is a tad low.

    Mirele, I thought I saw somewhere yesterday that the Texas BOE voted to allow evolution to continue.(mighty kind of them) By a very close margin though.

  6. 6. Terrible Said:

    I wonder how Cheesy Chuck feels about this calling for a coke head drunk rich spoiled New England frat boy to be the President of Texas. I also wonder where the hell the writer of the Texas seccesion e-mail got the crazy idea that the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848 wasn’t nollified and voided as a result of the people of Texas taking up arms against the United States of America in 1861. Sorry crazy people but you threw that Treaty out the window when you started shooting American soldiers!!!!

  7. 7. CC McGoon Said:

    I wonder how Cheesy Chuck feels about this calling for a coke head drunk rich spoiled New England frat boy to be the President of Texas.

    What is it with non-Texans getting a hard-on for ruling over us? Can someone make it stop already?

    Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848

    Don’t know what this is, besides a figment of some crazy dude’s imagination. Maybe they’re thinking of the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo, which was signed in 1848, but Texas was already a state by then (1845). It doesn’t, however, mention any right of Texas to secede, nor does any other legal document I can find.

    But, yeah, the question over whether Texas has any right to secede was answered once and for all when the Civil War ended. Of course, as a few of my neighbors still refer to the Civil War as “The War of Northern Aggression”, I doubt this secession rumor will be dying down any time soon.

  8. 8. CC McGoon Said:

    Way to enter a conversation when it is several weeks old and long forgotten, harmfulguy. Not that you’re trying to impress anyone here, of course. You made that clear by calling me an “undesirable”.

    But that’s okay. You fit right in with all the right wing nutjobs who also consider me undesirable. Way to go!

  9. 9. harmfulguy Said:

    Sorry. The ideal place to build the wall would, of course, be between the separatist cretins and flat-earthers on one side, and those of you who still identify with the human race on the other.

  10. 10. CC McGoon Said:

    What’s up with the deleted comments, harmfulguy?

  11. 11. harmfulguy Said:

    I figured I’d offended when I hadn’t meant to, and then made a less-than-temperate response that I thought better than.

  12. 12. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Yeahhhh, but when CC’s comments are the only ones left, that’s conveniently derisive towards her, isn’t it. Way more than a little passive-aggressive, from what I can see.

    Granted, I don’t usually jump into another woman’s fight, but I had to drop this comment in.

    I leave you to the retribution/correction of the author, as she’s already doing a helluva job.

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