Subscribe via feed.

Dear Northern Tool & Equipment: U SUCK. May teh wrath of Basement Cat strike y’all ALL down!!!

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on May 9, 2009 – 1:32 am

Elaine from Cat Haven e-mailed me this the other day, and I was worried that it might be an “urban myth” fwd, so I wrote to Northern Tool FIRST, to see what they had to say. Following (at Storage Unit) are the original mail-out and my letter to NT&E, as well as the form letter that I got back.

Continued over to Storage Unit, as the correspondence gets a bit lengthy, but no, it’s not an “urban legend,” and YES, Northern Tool really DID advocate using HYDRAULIC NAIL GUNS ON CATS. As “humor.” Yeah. Hence teh wrath of Basement Cat. Go to the Storage Unit and see the bullshit for yourselves, then you might feel the need to hit this contact link and write Northern Tool & Equipment a little letter, eh? And yes, I’ve got quite a few suggestions on what NT&E can do with their motherfuckin’ power tools, too… especially the nail guns… I just haven’t written them down yet, as that might be construed as “threatening” or “online terrorism,” what-have-you.


This post is under “Uncategorized” and has 5 respond so far.
If you enjoy this article, make sure you subscribe to my RSS Feed.

5 Responds so far- Add one»

  1. 1. CC McGoon Said:

    It seems to be that if you don’t intend to advocate violence towards animals, then it would probably be a bad idea to advertise your tools as a good way to commit violence against animals. But here I go making sense again. No one needs that.

  2. 2. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Amen. Especially to the haven’t-earned-the-name “men” who came up with this brilliant cat-hating BULLSHIT.

    Like to put THEIR ignorant asses up on a fence and take aim with a gawddamned nailgun. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy power tools?

  3. 3. Terrible Said:

    Hows this?

    The only use of a catalog from animal torturers like you scum would be target practice after I pasted a photo of your CEO on the cover. You filthy criminals shouldn’t even be allowed to do business in the United States if you think promoting criminal activity is such a frigging joke!

  4. 4. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Nicely done, Terrible. I tried the "polite" route, but apparently that doesn't make a fucking DENT. Perhaps I should send them the link to this post, as my second letter to teh douchebags, suggesting that they donate to CatHaven.or, BestFriends.org, and the ASPCA & NOLA SPCA went UTTERLY UNANSWERED THUS FAR.

    Would that Basement Kitteh would deign do the bidding on his minions, eh?

  5. 5. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    MAY 12, 2009.

    STILL NO RESPONSE FROM DOUCHEBAGS @ NORTHERN TOOL & EQUIPMENT ABOUT THE CHARITY DONATIONS.We may have to invade.

    I’ll drive, but somebody’s gotta spell me.

Post a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.