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Republican Party Bankrupt; Reorganizes As A Church

Posted by Mags on June 7, 2009 – 4:42 pm

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Troubled by dwindling membership and numerous setbacks, the 155 year-old Republican Party filed for financial, intellectual and moral bankruptcy and announced its reorganization as a tax-exempt church. The new GOP will be officially called The First Church Of Jesus Loves America And Latter Day Lower Taxes Anti Foreigner Old Time Heterosexual Do As I say Not As I Do Affluence Ministry Hoop N’ Hollerin’ Revival Gun Lovin’ Banker’s Club Outreach Hootenanny, Inc but will still use the name “Republican Party” for most functions.

Experts think that few consumers will notice any difference.


Thanks to Lee Stranahan over at Huffington for this. Go…read. LOL.

This post is under “Uncategorized” and has 16 respond so far.
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16 Responds so far- Add one»

  1. 1. boukman70 Said:

    Where do I sign up?!!!

  2. 2. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Why wouldn't they just go ahead and make it official by being LEGALLY absorbed into the Roman Catholic Church? Fuck, they're tax-exempt WORLDWIDE, and they get to wear Prada!

    I don't think that they'd have to "file" for moral or intellectual "bankruptcy," they fucked that pooch with Nixon, now their first officially-canonized saint, right next to Saint Ronnie Ray-Gun. But Gerald Ford, not so much. Huh. Think that Ike will ever make it into the hall of fame, seeing as how he was somewhat suspicious of the "military-industrial-CONGRESSIONAL complex"?

  3. 3. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    BTW, double-check your link in the "Go…read. LOL." part, it goes to a 2006 diatribe on trashy dilettante debutantes. The title link works, it goes to the HuffPo about teh republicunts, but not the second one.

  4. 4. Terrible Said:

    But their new name leaves out their love for torture and war crimes.
    it does cover most of their other attributes though.

  5. 5. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Well, the official minister's costume will include a ball-gag and a pony-tail (and no, I'm not talking about a hairstyle), as well as the cheapest low-rent dominatrix gear that they can buy at interstate-exit porno stores. That oughta give everybody a good idea of where their "morals" lie.

  6. 6. SeattleDan Said:

    Wow. I just got a Content Warning notice from Blogger about the contents here! Way to go!

  7. 7. Terrible Said:

    Dan, I saw that yesterday too!! WooHoo!!! Looks like the American Taliban didn't like being compared to their Afghan colleagues and had to run to Blogger crying persecution.

  8. 8. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Nah, it's my fault.

    I got into the ICanHasCheezburger "community" and the reichtards followed me home (silly me, I put the URL of the blog in my profile) and of COURSE they're going to report me to Blogger as being "obscene" or what-the-fuck-ever.

    And of course, it being Blogger, we have no redress or defense until after they REMOVE the blog.

    Their corporate reasoning is that it "prevents spam," not that they're trampling 1st Amendment rights. Suuuuure.

    Isn't it interesting that when the fetus-flinging reich-wing fucktards break the law, they WRAP THEMSELVES in the First Amendment, but when WE use it, oh, then it needs to be ABOLISHED, along with the ACLU, of course.

    So, sorry if any of y'all have been inconvenienced by this clusterfuck, but I'm hoping to have it resolved shortly. If not, then y'all can always go on without me. Fuck, start a new blog if you have to, just keep sticking it to the nazi-mentality fucktards.

  9. 9. Terrible Said:

    I think the warning thingie they have is kinda funny actually. And yeah the reich-tards are always screaming persecution as they carry on with persecuting anyone and everyone who doesn't see the world the same warped way they do.

  10. 10. Mentis Fugit Said:

    "Some readers of this blog have contacted Google because they believe this blog's content is objectionable."

    I find the choice of words interesting – "some readers … believe". Google are making it crystal the opinion is not theirs.

  11. 11. ImStillMags Said:

    I consider the warning a badge of honor. Nyeh….Blogspot/google or whoever….pfft.

  12. 12. Mentis Fugit Said:

    Mags is right.

    You should add "Google Certified" to that little rating graphic at top right there.

  13. 13. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    As soon as I can get around to finding a host for the image that you made, Mentis, my brilliantly-wicked friend, I shall replace it. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, and joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.


  14. 14. Terrible Said:

    But of course "some readers" really means some reich-wing domestic terrorists who stopped by long enough to piss their pants in fear that there are actually people who don't bow to their master Limbaugh.

    I'm with ya'll on it being sort of like an award for keeping it real!

  15. 15. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Yeah, I understand that, and encourage it, but it still pisses ME off, because I know *where* these cockbites came from, and WHY they did it.

    Not to be an egomaniac or anything, but we know that it's me.


    THAT fucking intimidated/"offended"/what-the-fuck-EVER by li'l ol' ME.

    Talk about fucking CHICKENSHIT.



    You'd think that the diet of WonderBread, Velveeta & Miracle Whip would've killed 'em all off by now.

  16. 16. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Oh, great, now they've TAKEN AWAY MY BOLDING.

    Fuck you very much, Globe-Eating Google.

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