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Now that the hurricane’s on the other foot…

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on August 25, 2011 – 9:45 pm

…bad analogy/allusion/metaphor/euphemism/what-the-fuck-ever, I know, but even though SOME of my East Coast friends, Yankees and Southerners alike, are TOO FUCKING STUBBORN TO GET PLYWOOD TO STOP HURTLING-AT-50-MPH *STOP* SIGNS FROM CRASHING THROUGH THEIR BEDROOM WINDOWS, let alone to do something as logical as *EVACUATE* for a hurricane that is approaching Katrina size, depending on how long she spends on I-95 — to the others, I must entreat in the world’s longest run-on sentence:  GITCHER PEOPLES, GITCHER CRITTERS, GITCHER SHIT, AND GIT THA FUCK ***OUTTA*** THERE!!!!!! Please.

She may sputter-out before Baltimore, she may go back out into the way-too-warm-to-be-the-Atlantic water and refuel, I dunno. If you’ve gotcher own inflatable mattress, y’all are more than welcome to come crash here in the hood with me. Nobody ELSE ever comes to visit unless it’s their JOB, so there’s floor space. Just no cat phobics/haters or allergies, ’cause no, I do ***NOT*** lock them into the bathroom or bedroom for ANYFUCKINGBODY, I don’t care ***HOW*** illogical, venal or feral your illogical fear may be. Sorry, still pissed about something else. But the cats don’t move. Unless they’re nagging me for something, of course.
But seriously, y’all — PLEASE GET THE FUCK OUT. The lights’ll prolly be out, so it won’t count as a missed work day, and if they dock your hours, kick their fucking ass. C’mon down and we’ll make some stone soup, dammit.

P.S.: Even though certain self-centered rednecks down here don’t give a fuck, nobody actually “dodged a bullet” with Irene, and there’s no telling what’ll become of Jose’, given enough time and a far-too-warm Atlantic, so keep yer keys & clean drawers handy!


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  1. 1. Terrible Said:

    It’s not the hurricane I need to worry about…it’s the radiation from the nuclear power plant flattened by the hurricane. Just kidding…I hope. Wouldn’t put it past Entergy to blow the place up during the hurricane in an attempt to avoid the costs of closing the dump.

  2. 2. Terrible Said:

    Started raining about midnight I guess. So far that’s all we’re getting so far just a steady rain. Not sure when it will get harder and the wind will arrive. They’re still showing it running up the Conneticut so it’s coming right by me. But will be greatly weakened by the time it gets here. Still will be enough wind damage and the worst will probably be the flooding. The road I use to get to work still has damage from flooding earlier this year which they only half ass ‘fixed’. And one spot is prone to flooding, had to drive through couple inches of water there when the other flooding happened. I’m thinking it may be a good idea to run up the hill and go down the interstate to work in the morning. Only problem with that is real good chance of lots of wind debris in the road that way. Supposed to be a nice sunny day tomorrow though!!

  3. 3. Anntichrist S Coulter Said:

    Well, I’m glad that they haven’t blowed-up the “nuke-yew-ler” plant on ya. And please be careful on those winding, inclined roads, too! I hope to hell that it DOES keep going and going AWAY, out into the Atlantic, before it hits the poor ol’ polar bears & Natives up in Canada. I just looooove how Murkin TV, especially down here, pretends like the earth isn’t so much “flat,” as that it just fucking STOPS north of Manhattan. Seriously. “By the weekend’s over, it’ll just be GONE, nothing to worry about…” Unless you’re in Nova Scotia or Canada or Greenland, etc., of course. But then, none of them COUNT, I s’pose…

    It was remarkably cool & windy this morning around 6A, when Their Majesties decided that they wanted to go outside, absolutely beautiful, cool, no humidity, though huge black clouds on the SE horizon. Still sunny, but haven’t checked the weather anywhere to see if this is that TS headed toward us or not. And of course, by 10A, it’s unbearably hot & humid, time to retreat back inside, so that I can listen to the “neighbors” barking dog, screaming spawn, etc. Happy-happy joy joy.

    And the ONE teeny-tiny tomato that my Topsy-Turvy plant ever produced, not even the size of a half-dollar, that’s been sitting out there for three weeks, FELL OFF today when I was watering & plucking the dead leaves off. Somehow, I don’t think that this plant is going to make much this year…

    At any rate, hang onto the side of that mountain and don’t turn loose, Terrible, and drive carefully!

  4. 4. Terrible Said:

    Just took a nice little loop drive…down 14 through the couple of inches of water I was expecting in the one low spot…then few miles futher there waqs a caution tape across the road and some guys checking out the road…got through there but they said 14 was closed south of 107 which was ok since I needed to get on 107 to get to work…turn onto 107 and in just 100 yards or so I was in 4 inches or so of mud! Got through that and made it to work where found out we’re not working today…back to the gas station for a coffee and heard that Bethel is full of mud too and that 107 west of Bethel may not be there any more…up the intersate and down the hill and I’m back home safe and sound with a muddy car. Oter then the steady rain all day we really didn’t get much happening here, the wind did blow a little bit from 7 to 8 but nothing out of the ordinary. Just lots and lots of rain, they’ll be plowing mud for a while it looks.

  5. 5. Anntichrist S Coulter Said:

    Well, it’s good to know that you can get to work and that the car is functioning! I wish to hell that I could hit the fucking Powerball so that you could have a NEW vehicle! I’m not ditching the GMC, though, but she needs an ASSLOAD of work…

    Thank you for keeping us apprised as to Irene’s last throes — if there’s any flooding or other residual damage, please do keep us in the loop, as much as the situation allows, of course. And if you get swamped tit-deep in mud, you know that you always have a place to crash, though where we’ll put your kittehs is a bit of a dilemma… And PLEASE feel free to post about Irene, Jose’, whatever’s going on, especially since the Genocidiversary is past and the half-assed Danziger verdicts have been handed down. Why none of these motherfuckers were “found guilty” of fucking MURDER, I will NEVER understand, ’cause that is EXACTLY what the fuck it was. Like so many other things, I will NEVER stop being pissed about THAT shit. Yeah, they’re going to Club Fed, but they’ll never be in the general population of a REAL fucking penitentiary, especially not OURS, so they will never even SMELL anything like REAL payback, and not a one of ‘em will ever see Death Row. They’ll probably take over the in-house mafia whilst guests of the federal government, I feel sure. That type always does.

    Anyway, thanks again for keeping us informed, and keep yer ass attached to terra firma, ya heard me? I’ve only got so many good friends left, and I sure as hell ain’t burying anybody ELSE!

  6. 6. Terrible Said:

    I’m not affected anymore then noted above but do get to hear stories of those that are still at work. There are still a number of areas that are inaccesible by car. 4 wheelers and in some cases 4 wheel drive trucks are getting needed supplies to those cut off by bridges and roads washed away. One of the farms near where I work lost some cows down the river. It may be their corn field that put the mud in the road, all that corn is still covered with coating of mud. I’ll take the camera tomorrow and get some pics of the minor damage that is on my route. I’m staying away from the hard hit areas because I don’t want to be in the way of the workers trucking in all the stone and gravel trying to get the roads open again.

  7. 7. Anntichrist S Coulter Said:

    Those poor cows. They work their tits off as it is, and then get sucked into a fucking flooded river. That shit wasn’t in their contracts. Sorry to hear about the corn, too, but the ConAgra et el Corn Lobby ain’t hurtin’ and won’t be anytime soon, unless Coca-Cola goes back to using DOMESTIC CANE SUGAR, which will never fucking happen.

    PLEASE post those photos as soon as you can, Terrible. I wish that this particular blog format allowed bigger/wider posts, so that the pictures would fill the top of the page, but I don’t know how to modify templates worth a shit anymore. It was easier on fucking BloggerGoogleCensorshipCocksuckers, but it’s not like I was ever worth a shit at writing code, one of the many reasons I’ve never finished the blogroll on THIS incarnation of MOB. But whatever pics you get, we wanna see! Especially if anybody got imaginative with their plywood signage, as Gulf Coasters usually do, leaving “notes” for the hurricanes themselves…

    And thank the fuck outta gravity or inertia or whatever force of nature/physics kept Irene from hitting that fucking NUKE!!! That’s JUST what the fuck y’all would need, a fucking nuke-yew-ler power plant, getting blowed-up real good! *whew!*

  8. 8. Terrible Said:

    This corn was destined for silage for the cows with a couple rows of sweet corn for locals dinner tables. Corn actually took it damn well considering it must have been completely covered by raging water. Did get some pics but they really don’t show much since the damage wasn’t that bad along my route to work. Will post them though as soon as I figure out how on the new site.

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