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September birfdays!!!

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on September 5, 2011 – 2:47 am

Today, September 5th, we celebrate the natal holiday of our dearly-beloved D. Sidhe of blogging & Wo’C commenting fame, as well as being the baddest origami-crane-folding woman on or off the books!  She not only accomplishes remarkable things, she does it whilst protecting us all from the “I Eat Your Skin!”-style zombies that are out there.  Believe me, THEY’RE OUT THERE. If you’re not seeing them yourself, it’s ’cause D. has already disposed of the crusty fuckers.

And just to prove that some of our greatest minds popped-in on us during September, the inimitable S.Z. of World O’Crap creation fame, an animal rescuer of envious proportions and a generally all-around wicked-cool/cast-iron-stomach-for-fucktards kinda broad was born/created in a CIA lab on September 12th. My life would definitely have never been the same if I hadn’t found Wo’C and hadn’t been fortunate enough to be befriended by S.Z. She is one severely bad-assed woman, with a heart the size of Rick Perry’s giant, inflatable, Aqua-Net-shellacked  head.

I know that some months, I seem to be investing severely less effort into the birfday posts than others, and I hope that nobody ever feels slighted, ’cause that’s sure as hell not how these posts are intended.  It’s just a demonstration of what an inferior blogger that I am, because I can’t maintain reliable writing levels or blogging quantity.  So, on we go…  And no, I didn’t mention this in order to make other people’s birfdays about ME, so shaddup.

Annnd, on the 15th, my almost-kinda-surrogate daughter, Candice dayummnn, I need a drink to say this!  — TURNS TWENTY. I shit y’all not. She adopted me back in 7th grade, and even though we’re lucky if we get to be in the same state every couple of years, we generally keep in touch, when her cell is on.  Dunno who I’d be if I hadn’t met this one, either. Nope, never wanted offspring, but this one just wouldn’t turn loose.  If she’d listen to my advice on dating once in a while, seeing as how I’ve made every stoopid mistake known to humankind before I retired!!!  — I’d have fewer grey hairs, but at least she’s with a nice boy now. One of the most talented artists I’ve ever known, maybe SHE will actually finally draw me the ideal for the 6-years-late tat for Tater that SOMEONE in LawnGuyland was s’posed to do BACK WHEN I HAD THE MONEY TO GET THE TATTOO…  Who, me? Carpy? Not a’tall.  Anyway, she’s good people, and I’m lucky to know her, even though she insists on continuing to grow up and making me feel older than Jeebus.  And fuck no, none of you dirty ol’ men OR women are getting her e-mail address, so shaddup now.

Continuing, our dearly-beloved Antoinette of super-secret-gubmint-work fame, has her birfday on the 16th, even though I know that in her humongous heart and her dirty mind, she will NEVER age, the heifer! Wish that she had a blog or somethin’ to link to, but she’s pretty damned impressive all on her own.  Happy happy joy joy, honey!!!!!!

Dayumn, September is packed… lotta folk conceived on New Year’s Eve, eh? Where were we? Ahhh, yes  —  on the 21st & 30th, our mysteriously-never-returned-from-the-silver-anniversary-holiday tech genius Mentis has two brilliant kids who are damned impressive themselves.  Sending love to New Zealand for both of ‘em!

And lastly for September, on the 30th, the inimitable, lovably-crotchety, ornery-and-big-hearted-as-all-get-out Jobsanger gets one step closer to…  I dunno how to finish that sentence with a punchline or pun, as Jobsanger reached the “don’t even give a tiny little bug-fuck” age back when he was in diapers, and is utterly unflappable. One of the bestest peoples in Texas, a badassed take-no-prisoners librul who dares to reside in & raise hell in Teh Panhandle, a hotbed of inbred rednecks, and one funny-as-hell motherfucker in his own right, Jobsanger is yet another person that I am damned thankful to have met and been befriended by, if that’s not a dangling participle. Fuckit, Ted can let whatever dangle wherever he wants, what the hell…

Annnnnd, on that loverly note, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY JOYYYYYYY!!!!!! Dah-dah tah-dink-dink, dink-dink!!!


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