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Will trade, barter, blackmail or buy:

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on March 25, 2007 – 11:05 pm

Any weapons of mass destruction that could take out a crowd of 35-40 screaming neanderthals and their scenery-gnawing spawn, and NOW.

Maybe I’m mistaken, but I always thought that the point of having an apartment complex was NOT to provide an “ENTERTAINMENT VENUE” for ONE resident and her LEGIONS of inbred relatives, but to provide living environments for MANY people, all of whom should be entitled to PEACE AND QUIET INSIDE THEIR OWN HOMES. I also thought that the reason that cities and towns built PUBLIC PARKS was so that people could take their bbq and their spawn and their screaming and guffawing and hollering to some “pastoral” place THAT WASN’T RIGHT UP ALL OF THE OTHER RESIDENTS’ ASSES.

Is it just me?

One good, easily-contained bomb. Is that asking so much? Yes, tasers would be more fun, but they’d take a helluva lot more legwork, and getting within arm’s reach of the aforementioned neanderthals and their shrieking progeny. One of those recently-tested sonic-boom thingys would be nice — where they blast crowds of protesters with a big burst of microwave or sound wave, until everybody is silent & compliant? Yeah, one of those would be nice. If I have to hear one more fucking shriek out of one more fucking kid, I swear, somebody’s going to have to call in the SWAT snipers, ’cause I’m going to rip the screen off of my window and start throwing things. No, I was never an actual pitcher on an actual team, but I’ve got a halfway decent pitching arm.

And yet the ortho doc won’t let me have the valiums back. Stupid fucker.


This post is under “Uncategorized” and has 6 respond so far.
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6 Responds so far- Add one»

  1. 1. Mentis Fugit Said:

    Don’t you wish brown noise wasn’t an urban legend?

  2. 2. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Is there a Wiki entry for those sound-assault things that they tested at the FTAA protests? Or am I the only one who’s heard of that micro/sound-wave “experiment” in crowd control?

    And no, I wouldn’t want to collectively empty the bowels of 30 fat people who’ve just ingested pork — funk rises, and I’m on the third floor, facing the lawn where the screaming brats were frolicking — I don’t wanna smell that.

    Nice idea, though. Could we direct some brown noise at the White House, or would that play directly into their favorite fetishes?

  3. 3. Saborlas Said:

    The Avenger’s Front Page.

    I hereby absolve myself of all responsibility for what you do with this. I just keep it around to cackle evilly at, as pulling any of it tends to get one in deep shit.

  4. 4. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    …heh heh heh… I remember The Avenger… heh heh heh…

  5. 5. Terrible Said:

    Concussion grenades may be easier to come by?

  6. 6. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Don’t tease me with offers like that, Terrible… You’ll make me get all excited & happy and shit, and if your connection doesn’t come through, I’ll just be all depressed again.

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