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Why PETA sucks #1

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on September 6, 2006 – 6:44 am

Yes, Steve Irwin died. It fucking sucks. I don’t have any personal attachment to the man, and frankly, his voice made my eardrums climb the walls, but he did an assload of good work. For Australia, for the Australia Zoo, and for animals and conservationists all over the fucking planet.

Is it ironic that he was killed by a typically “passive” animal? Maybe not so much ironic as just “Damn!” Is it surprising that he died on the job, with his boots on, so to speak? Not so much.

I’ll tell you why I like people like Steve Irwin and Jack Hanna: Because they spend their whole lives WORKING THEIR ASSES OFF TO SAVE ANIMALS AND TEACHING OTHER PEOPLE TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE AND TO WANT TO HELP ANIMALS.

And I’ll tell you why I despise those vapid media-whore publicity cunts at PETA: Because you can live to the ripe old age of a hundred and forty, and you will NEVER fucking see A SINGLE ONE OF THOSE SLIDING-DOWN-THE-CELEBRITY-FOOD-CHAIN BITCHES so much as going down to the local animal shelter and volunteering, NOT FUCKING *ONCE*!!!!! You will NEVER see a PETA whore scooping any dog poop that didn’t come out of their TEACUP CHIHUAHUAS, you will never ONCE see them stopping in the middle of Elysian Fields Boulevard to pick up a dog that’s just been run-over by some helmet-haired old snatch in a shiny Cadillac. Far too inconvenient for these exposure-hogging bimbos. Far too much work for people who prefer to take milk away from first-graders, ’cause it’s so much more HIP to drink SOYMILK. Far too low-d0wn and NON-MEDIA-ATTENTION-GRABBING for people who’d rather be nekkid in Times Square to show off their plastic surgeons’ latest achievements.

I’m paraphrasing here, but I will never EVER fucking FORGET when Jack Hanna was on “Politically Incorrect” on ABC, and he shut Bill Maher’s (leather-wearing, meat-eating hypocritical) PETA talking points DOWN!

Basically, Maher, in lock-step with Pam Anderson and similar geniuses of PETA, was bitching about zoos and equating them with “animal SLAVERY”. I shit you not.

And Jack Hanna, for the first time that I’ve ever seen him get pissed, EVER, looked Bill Maher right in his fucking eyes (okay, he looked down) and said (again, paraphrasing):

“You know what the world would be like without zoos? It would be minus several thousand species of animals, because WITHOUT ZOOS, there would never have been conservationists to SAVE THOSE SPECIES FROM GOING EXTINCT, and they wouldn’t still be around for people LIKE YOU to enjoy!”

First and only time that I’ve ever seen Maher speechless. Granted, I don’t have HBO, and I do miss The Angry Little Man sometimes, but not that much. That PETA shit goes all the way to the bone with me. They don’t give a fuck about animals OR people, they’ve constructed a fashionable “moral fascism” platform in order to get publicity for rapidly-fading stars, and there are a few actual vegans in there who MIGHT have adopted a stray dog or two in their lives. Other than that, it’s all about a straw-man argument against omnivorous humans, as if we don’t have cuspids for a fucking reason. I love animals. I’ve had animals around me almost all of my life. I go to deal with The Beastmaster and Her Dick every single fucking day, just so that I can spend time with my cats.

But I’ll eat a good steak, too, buddy. And I’m not a fucking hypocrite about it like certain vertically-challenged people.

And that’s what I’m going to miss about Steve Irwin. As weird as he was, he was one of the most positive things to happen to animals in a long damned time. He was real, he was out there, and he didn’t give a rat’s ass who didn’t like it. He loved animals, and he worked his ass off his entire life, taking care of and helping them. Even if he’s not the Buddha in his next life, he’ll be damned close, ’cause he’s sure as hell earned the karmic brownie points.

(Props to Blackdog for the suicidal blackdog graphic!)

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  1. 1. merlallen Said:

    Hey, Happy Birthday. Your blog is very hard to read. Can you change the backgroud?
    And have you given any thought to a night audit job yet? It’s boring as hell but it pays more.
    I’m at work now.

  2. 2. An Angry Old Broad Said:

    My main quibble with zoos is the taking of animals from the wild,much of it not very humane.I’d rather see people defending the land the animals live on rather than plucking them from their homes.Imagine if people put the time and energy (and money)into saving the landbase that they put into zoos every year.That said,there are some zoos working really hard to educate people and save species,which is a good thing.I’d like to see a world where zoos weren’t needed to save animals from human stupidity.

    PETA is a bullshit organization,groups like this make rich people feel better about the damage their lifestyles call for.

    As for eating meat,I figure if I eat meat,then it’s my job to also make sure that I fight for the landbase that provides that meat.If I love to eat fish,then I need to also fight to protect rivers,streams and oceans from the effects of industry.Give back what you take,that’s how we used to live before we got all”civilized”and shit.

  3. 3. An Angry Old Broad Said:

    (oh,and p.s. I haven’t called you because Atilla the Fun is home sick with strep throat,and I’ve still got contractors stomping all over the place outside finishing up the house and making a wreck of my yard)

  4. 4. blackdog Said:

    Never have been able to do much with blogger, but I agree, put your money where your mouth is. My last three blackdogs were going to end up dead if I hadn’t adopted them. They became my great friends.


  5. 5. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Merlallen, pumpkin, I’ve already altered my blog all damned week long to help my myopic and otherwise-ancient friends read it better. I’ve doubled the size of the font, changed damned near every parameter of the blog, but I’m keeping the black. It suits me. Thanks for answering me, though.

    And AAOB, granted, I’m not exactly well-versed on who breeds in captivity and who still does the Clyde Beatty shit with kidnapping wild animals, but I would imagine that most zoos are trying to make their own, rather than torture the free ones. Other than that, a big hearty AYYYY-MENNNN!!! to everything that you said.

    And you holler at me whenever life at Casa De AAOB settles down enough, hear?

    Blackdog, darlin’, I bet every single one of the blackdogs knows how much you love(d) them and what all you did for them. Critters know, y’know. They’re excellent judges of character, and they have flawless bullshit-ometers, so the fact that so many good blackdogs have sworn allegiance for you is better than any human recommendation!

  6. 6. kingweasil Said:


  7. 7. David Said:

    Annti – I think Jack Hannah is right about zoos – not only do they introduce us urban kids to wildlife we’d never give a rat’s ass about otherwise, they actually carry on valuable research. Good zoos, anyway, are far more helpful to the cause than organizations like PETA.

    Suggestion to PETA: If your that easy to make fun of, you can’t be doing a very good job gettin’ your point across.

    Sides, who doesn’t love a good steak?

  8. 8. Gordon Said:

    I think it was Homer (Simpson) who said “If we weren’t supposed to eat animals they wouldn’t have been made of meat”.

  9. 9. Mentis Fugit Said:

    david, the more you make fun of PETA, or the more you abuse them, the better they feel. It’s the endorphin rush of righteousness they’re addicted to, nothing more.

    And still on topic, Germaine Greer completes her slide into complete irrelevance.

  10. 10. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Mentis, I sincerely hope that somebody happens to kick Germaine in her overprivileged snatch for that shit, among other things. That shit’s not even remotely funny. And when you consider the mountains of good work that Irwin’s done to help animals and promote animal conservation, her penne-ante carping isn’t flyshit on a cow’s ass. Molehill, whatever.

    And you’re exactly right when you say that they get off on being completely superfluous clusterfucks — the more that they make asses out of themselves, the more that they THINK that they’ve “ACHIEVED.” As IF. They’re not exactly The Yes Men, and Abbie Hoffman would take a dump on their heads.

    Gordon, darlin’, Homer has never been more poetic.

    And yes, David, Jack Hanna, despite his “countryfied” manner on-camera, is a very smart man.

    And Kingweasil, darlin’, don’t make me drop a baby gator in your drawers…

  11. 11. TheAlGuy Said:

    I glad to see you posting again. you are right peta is a clusterfuck to provide rich white people a way to make themselves feel better.I have been speding 2 or 3 days a week helping out at the county animal shelter.
    when I first thought about doing it I did not think I would be able to take it as the only shelter I had ever been in was the L.A. Pound and that was a very bad place the one here in sacrameto is the best it can be with over 100 helpers making sure every dog geys a least 2 or 3 hours outside at play with is not much bet it is the best that can be done short of shooting every son of s bitch that walks off and leaves hi or her pets in the street every dog I have ever had has been a rescue from a pound including the currwent grand dog a blacklab whoose owners moved out and left her locked in the back yard and I would kill any asshole that tried to hurt her.I give the dpgs at the shelter a little play time and in return they keep me from losing what little mind I have left after the stroke

  12. 12. MJS Said:

    Annti: your generalizing of Peta and its members is exactly what you deplore when people generalize about Southerners. Your animus toward people in Showbiz in general–I know, you did a stint in radio–is really wearying. While I don’t agree with all of Peta’s positions (and the many Hollywood folk who are Peta members) they actually do something to help animals, even if they do it in a fashion you may not agree with.

    As you know, I live in Los Angeles, and count among my friends many people–good, hard working people–who are in “The Industry.” It’s hard work, though neither more noble nor less noble than what most of us have to do to make a living. But they are not a “they”–they are us. If we still play the “they suck” game where is the room for understanding and dialogue? There are good, healthy unions in the industry that help to provide benefits and pensions to the thousands of grips, stylists, set construction workers, truck drivers, lighting and sound professionals, etc. Does a lot of the product suck? Yeah, no argument there. It’s a business, and it relies on advertising revenue, and so is tainted as an art form, but good stuff trickles through, and artists who excel often rise to the top. I don’t begrudge anyone in Hollywood making the obscene amounts of money they make–good luck to them. I don’t take most of it seriously, nor do most sensible Americans. It is a reality that irreality sells. Whutevah.

    The next time you generalize about Hollywood consider putting in “dumb southerners” where you put generalizations such as They don’t give a fuck about animals OR people and know that you would go ballistic if you read that. Come on out to L.A. (we’ll put you up) and take a look around. We’re just dumb-ass people like everybody else.

    Back to the Zoo: We have elephants dying at the L.A. Zoo (Gita was the most recent to perish there) due to foot problems and other maladies directly related to being held in a zoo instead of going to the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee where they would be able to roam–where the kinds of illnesses and injuries found in zoos do not exist. The fact is elephants are a big draw for zoos, used like house slaves to attract income and photo ops. Fuck any zoo–any goddamn zoo–that puts its interests above the animals that they house.

    And when anyone here can claim to have done more to ease suffering of animals in the United States and the world then Peta has maybe you have the right to cast those easily tossed stones. Until then you’re no better than the reactionary thugs who are burying this country in horse dung and polarizing puddles of parrot piss.


  13. 13. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Hey, Al, I like that picture! And I’m so jealous of you & the shelter — all we have up here is a chainlink “pound” (dogs only, they kill all of the cats) and they use parish prison trustees and don’t accept volunteers.

    Now, MJS, darlin’, I did not condemn “The Industry” as a whole, nor do I slander people like Tippi Hedren, who devote their lives and their careers to saving-up to help animals. But I’ve paid close attention to every media-whore stunt that PETA has pulled, from picketing public schools that feed kids MILK, to strutting around nekkid and throwing paint on furs.

    They have never once impressed me with a need or drive to actually lay hands on ACTUAL ANIMALS and deal with all of the nasty, aggravating, and heart-tearing stuff that goes with caring for them. They have always seemed to be nothing but blatant media-whoring. That’s why, when I have money, I send it to the SPCA or the Humane Society, people who really DO help REAL animals, instead of trying to do culinary guerilla theatre.

    I guess that we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one. I sincerely didn’t mean to offend you, but I’m not going to change my mind. I’m sorry if you were hurt or somehow injured by my words, but I only write what feels right to me. And in my 36 years, PETA has never felt right.

  14. 14. MJS Said:

    No darling, I was neither hurt nor injured. Just being honest. Gross generalizations are easy ways to project our most negative feelings and you, my rascally dear, know that.

    I root for them to fuck up as much fur (Jennifer Lopez, who has a line of fur products, should be dipped in buckets of outdoor high gloss latex) as possible. What is done to animals to get that precious fur is pure fucking evil.


  15. 15. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Well, I still loathe the cocksuckers. And believe me, while the fur schtick is at the top of the list, the reasons why J-Ho should be flogged in public, drawn and quartered, and then fed to the hounds are so multitudinous and rank, to list them all would not be worth the lost neurons.

    And, um, RE: “radio” — uh, yeah — hi — have we met?!?!?

    Did I ever send you the Rant CDs, btw?

  16. 16. MJS Said:

    Um, yes we met. You made some shrimp-stuffed turkey beast thing after Katrina and fed me and a friend who brought donations from evil Hollywood (we ended up at the Salvation Army in Baton Rouge, then went on to LSU to help with the influx of animals there). How soon we forget.

    No, I did not get a rant CD. Do you cuss in it?


  17. 17. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Of course I cuss in it — and I remember the animal-rescue trip, that was my point. I think that I remember a somewhat goofy discussion of my attempted career in radio and your more successful exploits.

    And as for the Salvation Army and Greenwell Springs Road, I blame the navigator — that boy couldn’t find his ass with both hands an a GPS chip.

    Anyway, soon as I can buy some blanks, I’ll send you the CDs. Send me yer mailing address.

  18. 18. Anne Johnson Said:

    In order to get into the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Science, you have to pass through a metal detector. This is because of threats from PETA because of animal experiments going on there. Never mind that the school runs the best emergency room for animals in the city.

    I’m on my 4th litter of foster kittens from the local shelter since April. They come in when they’re too young or wild to be adopted. I live with their mess and make them nicey-nice. Want one? I’ve got 4 underfoot right now.

    As for the croc guy, I miss the old National Geographic style where the animals were filmed without human interaction. I loved David Attenborough. He’s still alive but too old to do anymore nature shows. It’s just not a good idea to show people getting so close to dangerous animals like crocs and snakes. I had a friend who nearly got killed and got his car totaled when he tried to nudge a moose off the road. This is not an urban legend! A pissed off moose can kill ya. Just like a stingray.

  19. 19. blackdog Said:

    I miss my ‘ol C-dog, my first blackdog. He really liked to go, on a tractor, golfcart, boat or anything. We explored the Los Padres Nat’l Forest and the great Sierra Nevada, and the High Mojave. He had orange eyes, weighed about 50 lbs and was more intelligent than most folk. A spanial type with feathers and really soft fur. We spent hundreds of hours going to places that most can only dream of. In a 2 wheel drive 4-cylinder PU. Places where many 4 wheelers would fear to tread. We went fishing in the Pacific and in oxbows in Arkansas. He was a trooper, always ready to go. What a friend. That great dog saw more than most, and I’m damn proud of it. He must have had some birddog in him, he would make looping forward forays and come back to check in, then make another in a slightly different direction. I never had to put him on a leash, he paid that much attention that I just didn’t have to. He was extremely well behaved, the only person he ever went after was a mail carrier. That was a surprise, but maybe he was cranked up, hell I don’t know. Not the dog, the carrier. When I got to Missouri, had a place and began to travel without C-dog I found Monday, a little blackdog named by the kids because they found or discovered him on that day. He was a little squirt and raced across hwy 71 which is very busy stealing food. It was only a matter of time before he was splattered, so I caught him and took him home to C-dog. They became great friends and I was then secure in my travels, knowing that they were OK. After several years, C-dog had congestive heart failure and died peacefully next to me in bed.He was around 16. I had taken him to two vets to see if there was anything I could do, but it was his time. I still rode him around town to the last in the PU, even though I had to gently pick him up and place him in the truck, he still liked to go. I never thought that he suffered much pain, but that is something that we as humans understand less than other critters. About 4:00 AM he died. He was one of the best friends I have ever had. He and Rowdy (Monday) are waiting for me in the upper Owen’s Valley, where the grass is green, the river is clear and cool, and the mountains are incredible. There are also alot of lizards. I’ll shut up now.

  20. 20. TheAlGuy Said:

    now that is a gog person can I stop crying now… we are very lucky people to hve been adopted by real dogs and you can be a bitdh with me any time you want ti I have been married 3 times been to tow county fairs and s couple of goat ropings and spent 15 years in the navy I can take it

  21. 21. TheAlGuy Said:

    I mean gog person damn this fucking stroke

  22. 22. Missouri Mule Said:

    Did somebody say Goat roping????

    Anntchrist, WTF? I’m home now, you little chicken chit, give me a damn call. Those figg’en Morman you done sent over,gave me a stroke, and, unlike our good buddy, Al here, my ole man done rode off and left me. Yep, a good man’s hard to find, or is that a hard mans good to find, hell I don’t know. I’m running off with Blackdog’s dog. I think we’ll be very happy.
    Thank gawd and Greyhound you have your own blog now! It’s about time you got off your lazy welfare azz and when to work. Sigh……Could you please come up and nurse me back to health, you hard hearted Hanna, you?

  23. 23. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Anne, darlin’, I would dearly love a new baby kitty, I just can’t have it in this crackerbox that they call an apartment. *sigh* And yes, I’ve heard from Psycho-Sister in Montana all about the mooses/meese stepping in front of a rapidly-moving vehicle. And bears. And buffalo. A buffalo will tear a vehicle to SHREDS upon impact — they may not have speed limits in Montana, but you never wanna go TOO fast — some ornery critter will jump out on your ass faster than our whitetail deer in rut!

    That’s why I get to spend quality time with the Beastmaster and Her Dick every single fucking day, so that I can spend time with my furry chirrens. I missed them today, because I spent all fucking day in Baton Rouge traffic (happy-happy-joy-joy), so I didn’t get to see Biddy or Boy today. And the friggin’ hamster’s being unsociable. Hmph.

    Blackdog, darlin’, I’d give anything in this world to find you a whole herd of blackdogs to keep you loved and happy. Your blackdogs were very lucky and very blessed critters.

    And Al, sweetheart, your dogs (and the dogs at the shelter) are some of the most fortunate animals in history — do they realize how privileged that they truly are?

  24. 24. David Said:

    Annti, on a related point, ya know the FBI – that’d be th’ Federal Fucking Bureau of Fucking Investigation – still lists “ecoterrorists” as the number one domestic threat in these United States. Never mind the fact that there are, ahem, thousands of skinheads/white supremacists in the U.S. military today, gettin’ all that there combat trainin’ ‘n stuff …

    And now, for the shameless blogwhoring: see:

    Dave v. E.

  25. 25. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Well, okay, Dave, YOU can blogwhore, but anybody else has to ask FIRST.

    And of COURSE they don’t mind the neo-nazi cum-stains — just like they don’t mind the somewhat-affiliated-to-the-white-“supremacists”, bible-banging, frothing-at-the-mouth psycho-“christian” militia groups (think Randall Terry, etc.) who blow up clinics and snipe doctors in their own homes, in front of their kids.

    The FBI had NEVER been worried about any of the WHITE, “middle-class” criminals, just anybody who rejects the corporate Murkin construct of the “American Dream” (soulless capitalist plundering). If you’re “different” from what they think is “American,” (as in, the fake “Beaver Cleaver” {which I always thought was a great porn moniker} “America” that never really existed), then you’re a SUSPECT. And it’s not like they need warrants anymore, either… the fuckers.

  26. 26. The Truffle Said:

    WOW! Hey Annti, why dontcha tell us what you really think? :D

    Seriously, PETA’s so fucking ridiculous and irrelevant by now and has been since they suggested that people drink beer instead of milk. Hello? You ever hear of anyone driving under the influence of calcium, you schmucks? My sweetie works for an environmental organization and he thinks PETA gives ’em all a bad name.

  27. 27. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Well, normally, I’m all for people going to the full distance for their cause, but these twats aren’t about the animals, they’re about the media-whoring.

    They reek of insincerity and cocaine, bean pies and ego.

  28. 28. David Said:

    Hey, Annti – who doesn’t love a good bean pie now and then?

  29. 29. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Uh… me.

    But then, they never would let me join Nation of Islam, anyway…

  30. 30. David Said:

    Yeah, me neither.


  31. 31. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    But y’know, there was this one brother who stood at the light @ Elysian Fields & I-610, handing out fliers and taking “contributions” who was very interesting to talk to… but he never did convince me that Farrakhan wasn’t a racist or a sexist.

    Very cool guy. Bald as an egg, bow tie, whole schmear, nicest NoI guy I ever met, and the only one I ever met who deigned to speak to some saggy ol’ white-devil broad.

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