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B3ta gets b3tta every month

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on April 13, 2007 – 6:07 pm

Aside from the horrifically and badly-timed anti-PC crayon-colors debate (it’s not funny and I don’t approve, not that that means shit to a tree), there were a couple of things in the monthly B3ta.com newsletter that I thought WERE worth sharing. If you’d like to explain to the uppity little brit code-writers why most of us more-evolved primates don’t use that word, please feel free. I dunno that they’d give a flying bat shit, but it might be worth a shot.

Great cat story; you might’ve already seen it, but nonetheless, it’s a great damned cat.

And for the three or four people who’ve never heard of or seen the legendary “GOATSE” picture, the ORIGINAL (WARNING! WARNING! NSFW, NOT SAFE FOR YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM!!!) disturbing-down-to-yer-bones online freakazoid porn pic, Jeremy Hermanns’ site found the funniest German advertising stunt in a good while. Ignore the wanna-live-in-a-unicorns-and-rainbows-universe moronic Murkins posting comments — it’s still a great gag, even if you’ve never seen the original Goatse. The link attached to the word “ORIGINAL” is a mirrored site that has the original picture, and it goes DIRECTLY to that photo, so don’t click on it if you’re not prepared to be grossed-out/horrified/disgusted. The other links in this paragraph are printed material ABOUT the actual picture and its ensuing cult status.

And in my ongoing nightmare of spinal torture/bitching-til-the-cows-come-home, I’m seriously considering posting my personal journals (dating back to 1987) on eBay so that I can buy a fucking compressor for my pickup truck (never ever EVER let a PLUMBER convince you that he knows how to add coolant to a motor vehicle’s air conditioner). Anybody think that there’s a market for such bullshit? It’s not like I ever read ‘em or anything. Maybe I’ll throw in my miniscule collection of Victoria-era Shakespeares (the Victorians were so fucking repressed, they have THE most perverted foot & end-notes on every fucking joke in Hamlet, and there are more in there than you’d think!) if the bidding goes high enough.


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  1. 1. Saborlas Said:

    Someone showed the Goatse pic to Ron Jeremy. He wasn’t impressed.

    Trivia: The name “Goatse” makes more sense when you realize that the URL for the original site had the extention of “.cx” (www.goatse.cx). If you still don’t get it, you have had a very sterilized internet experience and need to cancel your AOL account.

  2. 2. RenB Said:

    Ummm. Why do I get only the one thought in my head: skid marks in the underwear???? And how do you clean that???? And Saborlas—I did NOT want to know or speculate.

    This is not a good or uplifting thought at six am.

    And yes, you warned us all right. Knowing full well we’d all go peek.

    You bad. But I love you.

    Ren

  3. 3. RenB Said:

    And Annti…

    please add a tag. A new one.

    ‘Things you NEVER EVER wanted to know’

    Knowing how most people are, it would probably be the most popular on all of the internets and tubes, and your traffic would increase a thousandfold, and reach the traffic that the great orange Satan has. (Kos, if you haven’t been following…)

    Am off to the magic mountain, now, an outrageously beautiful day.

    Odd–blogger never let me comment before.

  4. 4. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Blogger/Google ain’t what it used to be, but when it works, I guess that we’re supposed to go slaughter a calf and lay it out on a rock to show our thanks.

    And hey, nobody ever really WANTED to see goatse.cx, but once they heard about it, they couldn’t help themselves. And while I always want more commenters (NOT TROLLS) and more involvement in this blog, I’m not selling ad space, nor do I get a big woody of the little-sailor-in-the-boat based on “site traffic.” I’ll leave those hobbies to those who fancy themselves “marketing” experts. I just want to try and show the world some things that they might not have thought about and to try and pry their asses out of their barcoloungers and into action when needed.

    The thoroughly-disgusting porn/necropsy/autopsy photos are just lagniappe. The maggots-in-the-brain photo is just one of my all-time-favorite gross-medical photos, I wish to hell that I still had the bookmarks for those sites… There’s some sick motherfuckers working in the hospitals & morgues of this country, kids, and they have CAMERAS. So be prepared, any time that you’re unconscious, to make damned sure that nobody in the O.R. has a cameraphone. Or do your damnedest to keep them from getting a photo of YOU.

    Anyway, I thought that the ad campaign was funny as hell, because it definitely appeals to the been-on-the-net-since-the-womb culture of coders and hackers, and the joke is delivered in a broad enough fashion for it to be funny to people who’ve never heard of goatse.cx, and never want to do so.

    Have a lovely day, Rene’ and give Peter my best (and another thwack on the noggin’ for having fucked-around and NOT DONE THE ASSISTED-LIVING THING SIX FUCKING YEARS AGO.) — again, give him “my best.” Heh.

    XOXOXO

  5. 5. RenB Said:

    Just back. Awesome place. You get two choices:

    feel sorry for everyone you see, the zombies out there working their asses off to be functional again.

    And the people who wihed they had died and have no animo… which is the fucking pits.

    We had corfee in the cafe after lunch. I went in to the restaurant and got him a ‘diabetic’ slice of cake. I came back and he had put himself from the wheelchair into the cafe one. He is gonna be ok, hear?

    Ren

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