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Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on March 9, 2008 – 2:15 am

For the few of you who don’t know, I’m finally, after 22 years of allowing evil cocksuckers to punish me for telling the truth, now I’m trying to prosecute the piece of shit who stole my life from me before I was 2 years old.

Made the 122-mile round-trip back to Klan Central (the parish/”county” where I grew up) on Thursday to fill out the complaint in person, to be verbally abused and accused by the senior detective in charge, to be given the bum’s rush outta there faster than you can say “sexist pigs.” Granted, the detective who “handled” my case was a human being, but his boss… I haven’t been spoken-to like that by anybody outside of the abusers in my so-called “family,” he was even worse than the no-neck ‘roid-rage talentless-hack punkin’-headed baby-eating troll shoulda been living under a bridge, gnawing on a goat’s neck “boss” at that gawdawful oldies station in Metairie.

And guess what, as I’m trying to get my few remaining possessions off of THEIR property and get my guts together to type-up the criminal complaint (the arthritis in my hands makes longhand almost impossible, especially a story that is that long and complicated), guess how karma rewards me for finally getting off of my ass and off of my martyr cross to DO THE RIGHT FUCKING THING?!?!?!?!?

Karma (and regular oil changes and over 134,000 miles) has destroyed the oil pump in the GMC pickup that I thought would last the rest of my fucking life.

So, y’know, all of the shit that I’ve ever done because I thought that it was the right thing to do, in hopes that maybe, by my next life, I could be finished paying for whatever horrors I committed in my last life — all of the shit that I’ve done in hopes of racking-up some karma brownie points? Yeah, that, like my trip to Klan Central, was all for fucking NOTHING.

Not that I’m not going to pursue it, not that I’m letting those cops or the predators off of the fucking hook, because I’m not. After having everything that has mattered to me (except for my friends, the only family that I’ve really got outside of Oldest Niece) taken away by these motherfuckers, all of my fucking life, THEY WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME. I will not be robbed of this. They will not fucking win.

But that truck was the last thing that my Nannie was ever able to do for me, and I promised her that I would always try to take care of it, even if it is filthy and smells like feral cats, I NEVER missed an oil change, dammit, and I kept the air filter clean and did everything that I could do to take care of that truck, and this is how karma fucking rewards me. And no, I’m not begging anyone for any fucking thing, because after all of my fundraising fuckups, nobody should ever trust me again anyway. I’ve wasted all of y’all’s money on all of the wrong people (after the Katrina missions, that is) and there’s no way that y’all should ever feel like I’m telling you this shit because I’m begging from you. I tell y’all this shit because that’s what I know how to write, what I know. Never have been worth a shit at fiction (my three paperweight screenplays are prime examples of this), so I write what I live.

And there you have it. Even fucking karma is a fucking myth. There is no hope to be gained from even that. It’s not a reason to give up, or to not do the right things, but it is a reason to stop hanging your hopes and your hearts on a myth that will never come true.

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  1. 1. Terrible Said:

    Of course you know I’m routing for you to be able to get klan central off their asses and doing their jobs!

    And don’t get me started on frigging vehicles! I’ve got broken shocks (at least I hope it’s not the shock mounts) in the back of my car from hit a frost heave too hard 4 weeks ago. I’m hoping it makes it to spring so I can fix that. But with mud season just around the corner I don’t know if it will.

  2. 2. Saborlas Said:

    One of these days, something really awesome is gonna happen to you… and you’ll have NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.

    Your post that evening will probably be highly amusing, as it will consist of every POSSIBLE way there exists in the English language to say “I don’t fucking believe it.”

  3. 3. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    From y’all’s lips to the universe’s ear, if I could still believe that the universe gave a fuck.

    There are too many fucking fucktards running too much of this world for there to be ANYTHING beneficent or purposeful about the way that this shit is being run and/or happening.

    This sentiment goes way the fuck beyond atheism, and perky little cutesy shit won’t change any of it. I am the epitome of oppositional disorder. Anybody who tries to change me or how I think are immediately distrusted and therefore, the opposition. And anyone who can make smirky jokes when I’m going through the hardest, most important fucking thing I’ve ever done or endured in my entire clusterfuck of a life, makes me want to get a permit to carry concealed.

    Not for you personally, just for people like you who think that I bitch because that’s all the fuck that I have to fucking say, NOT BECAUSE THERE’S A FUCKING PURPOSE BEHIND THE FUCKING BITCHING.

    Save the cute shit for RPG, kiddo. I am in NO FUCKING MOOD, as you are well aware. And since you ARE more than well aware, I can only assume that this is more of the passive-aggressive cutesy shit that opened the gate wide as the grand canyon for me to depart the phony bitches at BlondeSense and their whole “Ooh! Icky-poo! We don’t wanna think about KATRINA or AMERICAN GENOCIDE AGAIN, let’s look at some SOFT-CORE PORN and KITTENS AND PUPPIES WHO AREN’T DROWNING, STARVING, OR BEING MURDERED BY REDNECK DEPUTIES!” meme.

    I don’t play passive-aggressive, any more than I play roles. It enrages me when it comes from women, but it makes my flesh crawl when it comes from men.

    You might want to get to know the MOB bloggers and my other friends better, they could explain to you the odds that our friendship will outlast this week if you continue with this approach.

  4. 4. lokywoky Said:

    Hey Annti – I do know how you feel – in the last five years I had surgery, had surgery again, had surgery again, husband had stroke, husband died from brain tumor, had to sell house due to medical bills, step-son sues me, twice, invest in new business with daughter, have surgery again, housing crash happens, lose business, lose house, lose property, have surgery again, file for bankruptcy, move, and in two weeks – I’m having surgery again. How’s that!

    I’ve given up trying to find some rational way of “explaining” why stuff happens. I know people who are nasty, liars, thieves, slimeballs – and nothing ever seems to happen to them. WTF!

    So, I just put one foot in front of the other one and one day at a time. Some days are pretty good. Some are pretty awful. Be glad for the good days. Be glad the bad days aren’t every single day (I hope!!)

    Friends still, I hope?


  5. 5. lokywoky Said:

    Oh, and changing the oil regularly has nothing to do with the oil pump – I’m just surprised it lasted as long as it did. It’s one of those car parts that is only designed to last through one car lifetime (about 80,000 miles) and replacement is kind of like new tires or windshield wipers. They just wear out. Of course, more expensive than windshield wipers – and usually in an emergency when you least expect it and can least afford it. (Used to work at a truck repair shop) If you haven’t already, expect the water pump and/or the fuel pump to go out soon as well. They’re overdue if they haven’t been replaced already. Just sayin’

    So…while it may feel like bad karma – it really isn’t – just an overdue piece of “old” car maintenance and not because you didn’t change the oil or other some such. ‘kay?


  6. 6. lokywoky Said:

    I would like to congratulate you on your strength in the face of what seems like insurmountable obstacles to take charge of your life by doing what you did. That takes a lot of guts – a lot more than doing nothing and/or just trying to stuff it down.

    You got the power now – hang on for the rough ride – but in the end it will be worth it if for no other reason than you are now IN CHARGE!


  7. 7. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Thanks Loky. And I feel ya with the neverending turnstile at the gates of hell — I don’t know how you keep up such a brave face through all of that.

    And the water pump went out two years ago, but now it’s ALSO hemorrhaging antifreeze out of the back of the engine, which all of the old-fart mechanics and mechanic wannabes around here say is either a rear main seal leak (which means I’m TOTALLY fucked) or a gasket or a hose clamp. But at least it’s not another fucking water pump.

    The oil pump, though, is going to be a MUTHA FUCKAH. And yes, I’m actually surprised by this shit, ’cause as tough as that truck has been, I expected it to last forever. I know, I’m an idiot.

  8. 8. Terrible Said:

    hemorrhaging antifreeze out of the back of the engine

    I have to disagree with the mechanics. The rear main seal just seals in oil. Sounds more like a heater hose or the heater core to me. Where’s bustedknuckles?

  9. 9. lokywoky Said:

    Yeah – the rear main keeps oil in, not anti-freeze. It could be a stupid “freeze-plug” a ridiculous part that costs 39 cents but $400 to have installed!

  10. 10. lokywoky Said:

    Annti – the way I get through it is just about the time I start feeling sorry for myself, the Universe usually manages to show me someone who has it worse than me – and then I’m thankful that whatever I’m dealing with isn’t THAT bad! I have a very supportive small group of friends for which I am daily grateful, and my family. I’m expecting my first (and probably only) grandson to arrive on the planet any day now and that really keeps me going!

    Luv ya! loky

  11. 11. Saborlas Said:

    Ouch. Consider my comment retracted with prejudice.

    It ain’t passive-aggressiveness. I simply have a major case of outrage fatigue. It takes more energy than I have to stay absolutely ripshit all the time. Those times in my life where I was always angry were NOT healthy times. I didn’t like what all that rage was doing to me. That was the one time in my life when I was fully justified in not liking myself.

    Dammit, I’m not even sure what my point was anymore. Probably something along the lines of “If I don’t laugh about it, I’ll cry about it.” It means a lot of my jokes fall flat, but if I stop making the attempt, I’ll lose what element of functionality I’ve gained.

  12. 12. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Yeahhh, I gotcher prejudice right here, bubby.

    I’m going through nine kinds of hell right now, and my sense of humor died back in 2005 when my nephew was murdered (that’s what tends to happen to the very few people in my so-called “family” who are actually on MY side), so you’ll just have to be patient with me AND STOP POKING AT ME WITH SHARP STICKS, got it? Don’t poke the motherfucking bear, especially when the bear is in hell AND on the fucking rag with the worst cramps in HISTORY.

    And congrats, Loky! Nothing to be more grateful for than a happy, healthy baby. We never thought that it would happen to us, y’know? And with things being the way that they are right now, I don’t know when or if I’ll get to see Jada again in her short life. I’m not trying to pop your balloon, just trying to relate, since I’m never gonna be a breeder. I understand how you feel. I spend a lot of my time bitching, but I can never forget the people who have it a million times worse. And the fact that there’s so fucking little that I can do to help them.

    Now, as to this “freeze plug” thing, I’ve heard that from Redcane, too, and I’ve never heard of such a thing in my life! Granted, the cockbites at my high school never let me take shop, and I’m sure as hell no mechanic, but what in the FUCK is a freeze plug for and why is it fucking with me?!?!?

    And does it REALLY cost that fucking much??!?! It’d be cheaper to just keep feeding antifreeze into the bitch! Awful for the environment, but what the fuck am I supposed to do?

    The oil pump diagnosis came from Mr. Bonds, my one friend here at L’Hotel du Fucktards. He listened to the rattling/blapa-blapa-blapa racket when I crank it cold, and said that the oil wasn’t getting to the cylinders fast enough on start-up. Teh Fallen Uterus & her Dick tried to scare the shit out of me the other day (when I went over there to retrieve my last belongings off of their precious fucking property) by telling me that I’d left a huge oil leak puddle on their driveway, but when I went back over there, it was antifreeze.

    So, the oil pump can be put off, hopefully, but those freeze plug bitches sound like a motherfucker.

    Gonna call around tomorrow and see if anybody around here does estimates for free, the gouging bastids.

  13. 13. lokywoky Said:

    Hi Annti,
    A “freeze plug” is an insane little thing shaped like a little tiny cup. It’s made of something like “pot metal” (Code for absolutely worthless leftover scrap junk metal). In the engine, when it is first cast, are a number of holes. In order for the engine to work right (and keep the antifreeze in!) they have to plug the holes up. So rather than weld a serioud piece of steel in there (or aluminum in some cases) they just pound these little worthless cups in there. They claim that if the water in your engine freezes this will prevent it from “cracking the block” – where the name freeze plug comes from. However – I have never ever heard of anyone who’s engine froze and the “freeze plugs” saved it. What I have heard – and have experience at is this – the freeze plugs rust. That means the antifreeze gets to leak out. And so you have to replace them. There are about 8-12 of these things in any engine – depending on the size and type. And the one in the back is the worst because as I said – in order to install them you have to pound them in. So in order to do this you practically have to REMOVE THE ENGINE FROM THE CAR – REPLACE THE IDIOT FREEZE PLUG – AND THEN PUT THE ENGINE BACK IN.

    That’s why the stupid plug costs 39 cents (pot metal) and the labor is $400. Give or take a hundred or two.

    And that’s what a freeze plug is.


  14. 14. lokywoky Said:

    PS. If a freeze plug is the problem – I would STRONGLY suggest that while you have the engine out of the vehicle – you have the mechanic replace all of them. If one is bad – the others are in the same shape. Save a lot of time, money and high blood pressure in the long run – and like I said – they cost about 39 cents each.

    Luv ya!


  15. 15. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:


    Would you hold this abattoir pan while I open a vein?


  16. 16. lokywoky Said:

    Annti – well in that case I vote for the heater hose or the heater core. Since it’s coming up summer you won’t be needing that so the way to fix that is find the two hoses that go to the heater – they run from the engine to the firewall (the part of the car between you and the engine compartment) and there are two of them. If it is one of them, unhook them both from the firewall, detach the leaky one from the engine and attach the other one to the engine at that point – making a loop. Make sure the clamp on the end of the hose is tight (you’ll need a screwdriver to loosen and tighten these probably) and voila! All’s well.

    Here’s hoping that is what the problem is – and I am confident you can do this one yourself.

    Luv ya!


  17. 17. lokywoky Said:

    PS do not throw the old leaky hose away. You will need it when you go buy a new one when you have $$ to do so. They sell that stuff by the foot at better auto parts places (it’s cheaper than pre-cut at the dealer or whatever) and you want to make sure you have the right diameter and length. Once you replace that one, should do all the hoses within some short time-frame. Hoses are like windshield wipers – they wear out too from being hot and cold and hot and cold. They get brittle, crack and then leak.

    Hoses are a relatively minor thing so the easiest way to detect is put a really big piece of cardboard under the engine area. Wait about an hour and then check to see really which area the leak is from. Get a flashlight and look under the bottom of each of the hoses in that area – you should either see a drip or you will see stains from residue on one hose but not others. That’s the sucker you need to worry about.

    If that’s not the case, then examine the engine for the same thing, rust/residue, drips, etc.

    If it’s not a hose – then a head gasket is probably the next thing. The engine is basically in two pieces, the block (bottom 3/4) and the head (top 1/4) The head gasket is between them. Replacing a head gasket is not a job for a complete novice such as yourself, but on an older vehicle such as yours – it is not rocket science either. Unfortunately, a lot of mechanics will try to take advantage and when they get it apart will tell you that it needs “a head job, valve job, valve grinding, piston resurfacing, a ring job, all of the above, etc.) SO when you ask about it, tell them you’d like them to do a compression test – before they give you an estimate. They will give you a print-out that has either 6 or 8 numbers depending on the number of pistons in the engine. These numbers should be fairly consistent – not to worry if they’re not perfect. The engine has 147K miles on it. But if one is really different, then have them show you which one. If it’s the one next to the leak you already identified, then say well, the head gasket is bad right there so if you’d just kindly replace that we have a deal.

    If there isn’t one that is really different – the head gasket can still be bad but the problem doesn’t go all the way in to the piston. It’s pretty complicated – but usually asking for the compression test will stop them from trying to shaft you because it will make them think you might know something about car engines. (Good little trick to know)


  18. 18. Terrible Said:

    What loky said!! I know all that stuff but definitly couldn’t have put it so well. If I remember correctly I did have a freeze plug save a motor one winter. And had a heck of a time getting the plug back in enough to not leak any because of it’s location. But that was years ago on a rather old vehicle that still had some room in the engine compartment. But still couldn’t get a good angle on the piece of wood or whatever I was using to drive it back in.

    The only thing I’d add is that if they do have to pull the motor part way for a freeze plug (I hope not!!) then that’s a good time to do the oil pump because that’s not that expensive of a part either but a pain to put in because of having to drop the oil pan. And in some vehicles and usually trucks there’s a cross member under the oil pan. Normally that would have to be removed before being able to drop the pan but if the motor is raised then it can be done then.

    I HATE crawling under vehicles! Didn’t mind it much when I was younger though. Changed a tranny in an old Willys jeep in the drive way in the middle of a cold winter once. Now that I think of it I think that may be where I started to lose interest in mechanic work. I guess it’s really just a matter of have the right tools and the right place to do the work though. I’m going to have to do some this summer though or find a half way decent cheap replacement vehicle.

  19. 19. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Damn, Loky, am I glad to have made friends with you right now! Talk about your serendipity. And Terrible, as always, I dunno what I’d do without you.


    Will I sound like a complete chickenshit if I reiterate that I’m still recovering from spine surgery and have neither a crawler nor ramps to elevate the truck high enough for me to get my fat ass under it? And fuck no, now is NOT the time to be asking Teh Dick if I can borrow his.

    Why does this shit always happen when I’m in the worst possible shape to pull it off? Broke, cripple, and dealing with THAT shit. Yeah, I sound like a chickenshit lame-ass bitch. I know how to add oil, check the oil, check & put in antifreeze, change tires and hitch-up a trailer lighting harness (not to mention tow a three-ton trailer to Miami), but this stuff is way the fuck beyond my experience. I iz skeered that I’ll fuck it up worse than it already is. Is that an anti-feminist statement? I’m not as confident as you are Loky, I can’t afford to pay somebody to fix it if I fuck it up, any more than I can afford to pay anybody to fix it.

    I am a big fat chickenshit bitch, and no, I’m not saying that to fish for condolences or compliments.

  20. 20. lokywoky Said:

    Annti – no you are not a “chickenshit” if you are still recovering from surgery. I didn’t know that so we’ll just have to brainstorm other options.

    I think you can still go with seeing if it is a hose (least expensive option) first. Most of the hoses except the one from the bottom of the radiator to the engine are either at the top or sides and you can reach them from over the fender.

    You should still do the cardboard thing – doesn’t require you to crawl under there. Do that first to figure out exactly where the leak is.

    SO,,,with the truck cool (don’t do this right after you have been somewhere!) take a paper towel and wrap it around any hose in the area you are checking. Start at one end of it and slide the paper towel along. Then see if there is any anti-freeze on it. Repeat on each hose you can reach. If the leak is in the back – your choices are the two hoses going to the heater. If it’s in the front – you have the upper and lower radiator hose.

    If the hoses are okay, then just look at the engine – if it has been leaking for a while – and by this I mean more than a couple of days – there will be streaks of whitish stuff and rusty stuff down the side of the engine. Can this Mr. Bonds help you look? – just tell him about the antifreeze – he seems to know enough to tell you about things just listening to them. He can look at the bottom radiator hose without ramps – you just need to get your head under there.

    And no – being unsure of yourself when you are not familiar with something is NOT “anti-feminist”. No one knows everything – why should you? It’s natural to not be confident if you don’t know. You know a lot more already than a lot of women – there are so many women I know who DON’T know how to check and add oil, check and add antifreeze, or change a tire I can’t tell you. They are all strong, capable women and do a lot of good things in the world, but working on a car is not one of them. That doesn’t make them “anti-feminist” or stupid. It’s just something they were not taught how to do. It’s hard in this society to even get that kind of education – as you know – so this is not a time to be critical of yourself. Stuff happens. You ask for help.

    You were pretty down and saying no such thing as karma – what do you think is going on here right now? I’m here – Terrible is here. The message went out. Asked and answered. Now granted – we’ve still got a ways to go before the problem is solved, but we’re working on it!! But now you have some more, different options to consider, and some information you didn’t have before to help you make good decisions.

    Luv ya!!!!!


  21. 21. lokywoky Said:

    PS My grandson, Taegan Vaughn arrived on the planet at 7:13 pm Eastern yesterday. He weighs 7 lbs and 5 oz and is 19.5 inches tall.

    Mom had a rough time – he came breech and was tangled up in the cord.

    They are both home, healthy and resting this afternoon.



  22. 22. Terrible Said:

    Hell I’ve known mechanics who wouldn’t have a clue where to start on a trailer wiring harness! Or much of a clue about any of the electrical wiring. Wish the MOB had some one close enough to stop in and work on it for you!

  23. 23. Anntichrist S. Coulter Said:

    Congrats Granny Loky!

    I’ve done another five pages of that statement tonight, so I’m useless from here on out.

    We’ll get back to work on the truck tomorrow, after my physical therapy/traction fun. I never thought that TRACTION would FEEL GOOD! Weird weird weird, but damn if it ain’t helping!

  24. 24. lokywoky Said:

    Hey Annti – yeah I know about traction helping! Kewl!

    I have to travel to see my surgeon tomorrow so I won’t be available much until late afternoon early evening. Will touch bases as soon as I get back and get the computer cranked up!

    Take care & talk to you then

    Luv ya!


  25. 25. Saborlas Said:

    Annti, if your sense of humor is dead, it’s doing a DAMN good job of convincing me there’s an afterlife.

    Mostly in the form of some ancient Native American ancestor (possibly the only one in my tree) saying “Hello, young Wolf Who Walks As A Man. Now is the time for you to shut the fuck up and listen, for once. Oh, close your mouth before a buffalo climbs in! You knew you were long overdue for a visitation like this. And turn off that music, the theme to Ghostbusters is hardly respectful here.”

    The beauty of self-deprecating humor is that one’s self will always be a politically correct target. I await the Willfully Ignorant Anti-Defamation League with baited traps… er, breath. Baited breath. Yeah.

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