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NOT ACCEPTING ANY UNLISTED PHONE CALLS

Posted by Anntichrist S Coulter on September 1, 2008 – 12:56 am

If any of y’all have tried to call me from an untraceable number, and I’ve either picked-up & hung-up or screamed, “FUCK OFF!!!” into the phone, there are actually reasons for that.

1. The Louisiana Do-Not-Call List DOESN’T FUCKING WORK, and this is the LAST fucking time that I want to be harassed by arrogant cocksuckers in Bangladesh, while they try to sell me a fucking CAPITOL ONE CREDIT CARD.

2. Remember the alcoholic, thieving, malfeasant fuckwad of a “sheriff” up here, the one who covered up my nephew’s murder? Yeah, Homeland Security has given this nazi motherfucker WAY TOO MUCH MONEY, and he’s got fucking COMPUTERIZED AUTO-DIALERS (which, I might note, were fucking ILLEGAL before Dumbya & Dick!!), with unidentifiable origin numbers, harassing the locals to tell us what we need to fucking do, LIKE FUCKING HILLS FLOOD. Yes, there’s a danger of tornadoes, DUH, especially if that motherfucker Gustav comes up the Mississippi River. We all ought to fucking know this by now. Yes, I understand that some people DON’T know that by now, but I bet that they’re watching their televisions.

3. With NO CABLE, and very, shall we say, “LIMITED” coverage on the local republicunt stations, I’m getting most of my updates online. I only have dial-up, so unexpected calls are knocking this rusty ol’ laptop OFF.

AT ANY RATE, the last fucking thing that I’m going to deal with, as I’ve had four hours’ sleep in the past three days, is ANONYMOUS PHONE CALLS. If you’re freaking-out, I don’t need to hear that shit. I’m coming 38 years old soon, and if I can’t handle my own fucking ass in a motherfucking hurricane, cripple as I am, THEN MAYBE IT’S MY TIME. But the last fucking thing I need is MORE HYSTERIA. I’ve been SURROUNDED by those idiotic squealing yuppie-scum motherfuckers for FOUR FUCKING DAYS, and my nerves are SHOT TO SHIT.

And yes, I know that people are calling because they’re concerned and because they care about me. I appreciate that. I really do. But right now, y’all kinda need to remember who the hell I am, honestly. If being in a 3rd-floor apartment in a brick-and-timber building won’t hold me, then maybe I want to learn how to fly. I have 2 gallons of gas in my truck, 2 dollars in my wallet, won’t have any more until the 3rd, and I’m stocked-up on cigarettes & co-colas. So I ain’t goin’ NO FUCKIN’ WHERE. I’ve got cats to tend to, and nowhere up here that will take them. Fuck that shit.

SEE why I’ve been nagging these cockbites to build a fucking animal shelter? But noooooo, why in the fuck should they care about THAT, when there’s forests to destroy to build more TACKY-ASS SUBDIVISION HOUSES THAT NOBODY’S GONNA BUY!!!

I promise a more cognitive post at some point in the near future. We’re not supposed to even see real rain until tomorrow afternoon, and actual storming tomorrow night. I’ve got my shit covered, honestly.

I love y’all, but whomever is calling with the anonymous phone numbers, please don’t. I’m not going to answer it if I don’t know who it is. Especially when every muscle in my back has been in FULL FUCKING SPASM FOR TWO MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS AND NONE OF THE DRUGS THAT I *DO* HAVE ARE DOING A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT. Pain makes me meaner, in other words. Yeah, I know, shocking as hell. Sue me.

I’m sorry if I’ve hurt anybody’s feelings, I do not intend to do so. I’m running on the reptile-brain only right now, so I tend to have an itchy trigger-finger, so to speak.

Hunker down, eat some comfort food, and watch the news.

Love y’all, and nighty-night.


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  1. 1. CC McGoon Said:

    Good to know you’re stocked up on cigs. Storms are no damn fun if you can’t chain smoke through ‘em. Try to get some sleep and stay safely indoors when you’re awake. If you can, keep us updated on the weather situation. We’re thinking of you.

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